Cowgirls, Their Horses, and God

Chloe - La Mesa, California
Entered on February 19, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
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Cowgirls, Their Horses and God

At the age of two and a half I began riding horses; for, my mom had ridden her entire life and wanted to pass on the tradition. As a child, my mom walked me around on a pony named Cinnamon; once my mom allowed me to walk around the yard while being led I had my first fall. Soon after this incident, my family and I moved to Colorado, where my parents bought my sister, Brittany, and I a horse named, Minnie. This horse taught me to become a better, and more advanced equestrian rider from the ago of three to the age of twelve.

As a young child to a young adult, I have always been a firm and devout believer in God, Jesus Christ, and the bible; while also being involved with horse back ridding. On Sundays mornings, as a five your old, living in a country town about an hour away from civilization, I always suggested going to church to my family. My parents were always willing to take my sister and me to church so we all went together. Besides the fact that I found church to be more of a hassle at this age, I knew that I wanted an exquisite relationship with God, and Jesus. As time went by I found church to be an enjoyable experience.

Bit by bit, my love for horses progressed. I began to focus on my form, the horse’s behavior, proper ridding educate, and competitions, instead of church and family time. Horse ridding began to take over all of my free time seven days a week before a competition. With the fact that my parents were willing take care of all of the expenses of my competitions in this sport I felt that I needed as much practice as possible, in order to win my classes. During each class while ridding I would say to myself “heels down, chin up”; which led me to defeat the other people in my classes. During fall, winter, and spring, my weekends consisted of horse ridding, preparing the horses, getting my competition clothing together and hauling my sister and my horses to these competitions.

While preparing for a competition the next weekend on September 18, 2002, as I practiced on my new horse “Spot” without wearing a helmet, my entire life came to a halt, when Spot tripped flipping over onto me. Because I was not wearing a helmet and the saddle hit me in the head, I was immediately in a coma state. I remained unconscious for eight-two days. I was unable to walk for almost three years, which was difficult for me. Up until junior year in high school, other students made fun of me, and strangers stared at me. I let these other people affect my life in such a way that I was always depressed, this is how I felt:

Running away from pain

with nothing to gain

Is what I did that day

I didn’t have anything to say

My life changed fast

almost making that moment my last

all my memories were gone that day

Every thought just seemed to float away

Wondering away from my mind

with not many things left behind

but, I am still strong

and stay away from what’s wrong

To God I always ask

Why is pain my task?

I pray for help all the time

Although my requests seem sublime

not a day goes by I don’t wish I could change my past

But my pain seems to stay and always last

all eyes are on me as the people like to stair

Reliving my past I would not dare

for my worst fears

have just turned to tears

streaming off my cheeks

they could flow for weeks

My strong will to survive always seems to strive

So everyone knows that I’m still alive

Afterwards I went back for another ride

So I can at least say that I’ve tried

I want to be here till the end

To show people that rules do bend

I hide from my what I really want

Knowing that everyone likes to taunt

During the time that I was in a coma, God spoke to me and told me that he saved me so that I can teach others how to accept people for who they are and not what they look like. As Christianity and relationship with God have progressed, I have been through many difficult times, and been tested and used by many people; yet, I am still as nice as I can be to every person that I meet. Also, this is how I feel now:

I walk alone in this so called life

No one seems to care about me

Some just stop and stair

While others laugh and tease

I’ve just let go and I don’t care

Screw that I am me

And I can be who I want to be

I always try to do my best

Putting my weaknesses to the test

I don’t mind, say what you please

I’m sick of people; the people who tease

No one can see who I am; I hide behind the covers

The covers I cling to too hide myself from others

I just wish people would let me be me

I hate living up to what other people tell me to be