This I Believe

Vanessa - Chicago, Illinois
Entered on January 22, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family

I understand that people that tend to hurt others with words or any insignificant phrases, is because they have been hurt before in their life. Also because maybe at their homes they see and hear people hurting each other. So they tend to hurt others, so that they can feel better and let go all that is going around them.

There are also people that get hurt not only with words, but by the things that are happening around them. Some can get hurt with the war that is occurring in Iraq, thanks to the president we have who is doing nothing but sending people to die at war. People can get hurt when they are called=what a Moran, cracker, immigrant, pork chop, nigger……..

If anything people should just keep their comments to themselves or think twice before talking.

I tend to answer back when my family talks to me because I feel they are making me that way. It is like that because I feel they treat me different than my brother and I once asked my mom, “why is it like that?” I told her, “it’s just because he got balls down there and I don’t, it’s not fair.” She’s like when are you going to understand that you’re a girl and he’s a guy and I said never lady, why, because is not fair. I can do whatever my brother does, yea , I know is going to seem bad in me than in my brother. To me it seems that you prefer him over me, I sometimes just feel left out, but I know one day you are going to realize and hope is not to late, why because you have my brother in such I high standard that wow, I know things of him that I know if you find out is going to hurt you a lot, but I’m just not going to say nothing, why because I love you and I don’t want to hurt you, with what I know of him. Even though you always say that you love all of us, my brother, my little sisters and myself the same way, but I don’t see it that way, sorry mother but I don’t. Mom you changed a lot once you had my two little sisters, the family sees it and I once heard you telling my godmother that you realize you changed ever since my sisters were born. Ever since, I feel a big responsibility with my sisters, which I don’t need to feel, why because they are only my sisters not my daughters. Maybe I feel that responsibility because I still remember when you told me that they were my responsibility. And is like man, I think to myself why me, why she told me they were my responsibility, is like not fare.

I also feel left out because I hardly ever know what’s going on in the house. I ask myself why is it like that, but I have come to realize that is because I don’t have the communication with you my mother. And that is the one thing that hurts me the most. it hurts because I would like to talk with you and tell you all that I feel and all that is happening around me but I just cant, why because I remember back in elementary I was hanging around supposedly with the bad influences. One day in soccer practice I started cursing out a lot of the ones that would stay for practice, but it was cause they got me mad so yea, I couldn’t stay quite. Once I got home my mom was like I heard what you did and she started telling that what I did was wrong. She also told me o and with those friends you hang around with are not a good influence and bla bla bla this and bla bla bla that. I told her mom just because I am with them don’t mean I’m going to end up like them. Yea I realize they are on gangs and they like to smoke and drink, but get this straight I’m not them. Well ever since that day she told me and I will never forget, she said I lost confidence in you and man that hurt me and still hurts, why, because I never did nothing wrong while I was hanging around with them, while I know she taught I was going to, but I didn’t and I’m proud of myself for not being a follower. All I can say is mom I love you with all my heart, just because we don’t have that communication don’t mean I don’t love you.

This, I believe.