This I Believe

Valerie - San Antonio, Texas
Entered on January 20, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: parenthood

This I believe

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I became pregnant at the age of twenty. I was devastated. What was to become of my life? Do I want to have a child? I knew caring for a baby was hard work; I practically raised my baby sister. I would have never expected the outcome of having a child to be so rewarding. On that night as I lay on my hospital bed gazing into my son’s eyes, I knew I had found my calling in life. It was as if no one existed in that room but him and I. I had never felt such a strong love in my heart, like I did for him. As tears rolled down my cheeks I knew that I would be there for him, always. I will give him everything I didn’t have when I was a child. Not money wise, but love and affection.

I grew up with a father who seemed to dislike his life, and a mother who didn’t like to show affection. My father was an alcoholic. I remember coming home from school as happy as a child could be, but when I looked at the clock and saw six o’clock was coming that happiness turned to fear. I would hear his car keys hit the table and I knew it wasn’t going to be a good night. If dinner wasn’t made, the house wasn’t clean, or if my sisters and I weren’t doing something, we were in trouble. I could not understand why a father with such a beautiful family is not happy with his life.

My mother didn’t like affection. She was a good mom. She didn’t make a lot of money, but we always had everything we wanted. The thing was that I can’t ever remember a time when I could run to her for comfort. So I had a father and a mother that I could not share my feelings with, or go to for support.

Seeing how I grew up. I believe if I hadn’t gone through that, I wouldn’t have the kind of loving and caring family I have now. My kids don’t have to ever fear their parents and they all get plenty of love and affection from their mom and dad. I talk to them about everything in hopes they will be able to share all their feelings about life or what ever questions they may have with me. I truly value and appreciate being a parent.