This I Believe

Kari - Lake Linden, Michigan
Entered on January 14, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death
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This I Believe

Do you know when someone close to you dies, then when you go to their funeral and you are looking at them your insides turn to Jell-o?

When I was in third grade, my Grandma Stenger died, she died on April 11,2001. It was no surprise when we got the call, she wasn’t doing so well. It didn’t hit me that my grandma died till 5 minuets after the phone call. That day was also the day right after my dad’s birthday. Isn’t your mother dying a good present?

Three days later when the funeral was held, lots of the family came up. All my family went to the funeral but my dad. To this day, I still don’t know the reason he didn’t want to go. It was his mother, wouldn’t he want to say his last goodbye’s. We walked a whole block and a half to the Funeral Home, only to see my grandma looking so hopeless and not moving at all. I remember walking in and seeing a book there to sign like at a wedding. Also there were flowers everywhere all around grandma. When it was time to go and say goodbye to her, I went up with my brother and my Great Uncle Ducky. When I was up there looking at her I remember whispering to my Great Uncle Ducky, “this is all a joke, I know it, she will wake up any second, you’ll see.” But nothing ever happened.

A few years ago I had a dream with my grandma in it. She never said a word, just sat there looking at me. But she didn’t have to say anything, just her company was good enough for me. Also in my dream, we did everything I wanted to do.

Now we live in her house, this way it always feels like she is with me.

On days when I feel sad it’s because I miss my grandma. My dad tells me that her death was harder for me because we were so close. I would go over to her house, and we would eat windmill cookies with milk. My grandma also taught me how to read better.

There are days that I just wish to see her and hear her voice. I feel bad because I don’t remember her voice anymore. I just want to see her, and tell her how good I’m doing in school, and for her to see me in the plays I ‘ve been in. I would like her to see me graduate from High School.

Every now and then, when I think about her, my insides turn to Jell-o because she is still very important to me. This I Believe.