This I Believe

Lagi - West Valley City, Utah
Entered on January 9, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
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I believe that suffering has blessings in disguise and can bring you closer to God.

95% of the time, people who do nothing in deserving to suffer will wonder why God okayed it anyway. My guess is although God loves us, suffering exists because people make it so, whether brought upon his/herself or not, whether deliberate or not, so all God can do is sit on the sidelines, show His love and help where He can— if desired.

My family and I learned this over time after my mom and my brother Rob got in a car accident six and a half years ago. A 22 yr. old man ran a red light and totaled Rob’s truck. The man said otherwise, so police let him go, despite his suspended license and uninsured vehicle. Glass shards buried in my brother’s shoulder, my mom’s arms and legs laying like a broken bloody toy in the backseat half dead, I thought about how I hated him not only for hurting people I loved, but for lying about how it happened, thus getting away with it.

But at least he and his toddler were fine, and my brother could walk and talk, because my mom would never walk again.

Our family found this life altering. With both parents sick, since my dad has bipolar, schizophrenia, and manic depression, doctors suggested putting my parents in nursing homes for convenience. No way in hell would I let some idiots stick them in one! And good thing there aren’t any in my family, our Samoan culture wouldn’t permit such a thing anyway. We can’t just dump our elderly for someone else’s responsibility no matter the situation, especially if it’s our parents. That’s for another essay.

Life changed when my mom came home in her wheelchair, learning things from how to flush and change IVs to doing sore dressings. “And don’t forget your gloves!” she says when doing things as such. I sometimes feel like a nurse with gloves on. With out the real nurses however, we’re lost so we owe it to friends like them.

Along with the nurses and family, I’m so glad to still have my mom around. She worked 16 hours a day with 3 jobs. Besides Saturdays and Sundays, I almost never saw her, but as the breadwinner finances were fine. Although we struggle to make ends meet with money now, at least I see her and my dad more; They’re actually in the know on what’s going on in our lives now.

When I remember things like having nurses care for my mom, a tight knit-family, going to Catholic private school despite money, possessing the roof, food, and clothes everyone needs, then I remember there is a God, so I love Him more for the long list of innumerable blessings I’ll forget to appreciate sometimes. I love life more when remembering this.

Life can batter someone, as a dog will to a remote. But as long as the battery in it perseveres through suffering like a person’s heart, the battery just goes on and on and on.