This I Believe

Phillip - Provo, Utah
Entered on December 25, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

I believe in family. Living life as a new father can be hard sometimes. I don’t remember the last time I got a full night’s worth of sleep. But it’s all right. There are times when I might think, “My son is ten months old; shouldn’t he be sleeping through the night? Does he really need to eat at four-thirty in the morning?” But it’s all right. When he goes over to suck on a forbidden electrical cord for the one-hundredth time, I might think, “Why can’t he just learn to not do that?” But it’s all right.

There’s a special moment sometimes when I get home after I open the door and my son sees that I’m home. It’s like everything else in his world goes away and he crawls over and smiles at me. Moments like that make a life. I believe in my son.

Being a husband isn’t always the easiest thing in the world, either. Like any normal, sane married person, I know that marriage can be hard. At times maybe I feel like saying, “Why can’t you just be in a better mood?” But it’s okay. When I’m tired after a long day and there are things that my wife needs help with, I might not be thrilled at the prospect of having more work to do. Maybe I think, “Haven’t I done enough already today?” But it’s okay. Sometimes she gets upset with me for doing or saying something I didn’t even intend to be mean. I say, “Why are you mad? What did I do?” But it’s okay.

Much like when my son smiles at me, I have moments with my wife when I experience a peculiar kind of joy. I realize how stupid something was that I said. I might cry and I try my best to apologize for how mean I have been. And then she tenderly tells me, “It’s okay.” In that moment, it’s like nothing else matters. I believe in my wife.

Anyone who says that family relationships are simple is probably either ignorant or telling you a lie. It’s not easy being a husband. It’s not easy trying to figure out how to raise a child. It’s not easy to share your life with someone. But those challenges are much of why I’m here. I have a family, and it’s not easy. But it’s all right.