This I Believe

Jorelle - suisun, California
Entered on December 15, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love

Love is a beautiful thing to have. It involves almost everyone around us. The word love could mean many things. From liking something materialistic to the feeling of a deep affection with another being. For some people, love takes a while to find or sometimes love just comes your way and for some other people, love is something that you fighting for. I believe that the best love to have is a love worth fighting for.

It all started in mid march of the year 2007. Knowing a person most of my life usually is just a friend. But sometimes that friendship could develop to something more. Ever since seventh grade, since I knew this person we were just friends. I was a little bit older than her; at least two years apart. I never talked to her much and she hardly chats with me. She was a friend with my younger brother and I was a friend with her older sister. We were so different from one another. Its almost as if I never knew what kind of person she was like. She was a quiet yet hyper girl and I was a smart yet lazy guy. I never really started to know her till junior year in high school. At that time I was a junior while she was a freshmen. I started to develop a likeness towards her; what I didn’t know was that she was a fun girl to be with. She always smiled when I came around and never disrespects me. It was as if the way she looked at me. I thought that she was trying to tell me something. However I ignored it. At that time I just recently found out that she was heart broken with someone that left her. The happiness that I saw started to diminish. The light in her heart started to become a dark whole that you can’t crawl out of. However she slowly managed to regain her reality and move on. During my senior year her and me started to get close. We talked more and began to see each other more often in the morning however at the time I was more interested with her best friend. It was nothing more than a formality for me. It lasted for a while but she eventually left me for some trivial reason. However once her friend left me, me and her became closer we talked about our problems together, hung out together, and even started seeing each other normally. We chatted on the phone till almost 12 o’clock at night just talking about our day and how it’s been. Everything was fine but I still had to remember that she was my best friends girlfriend. Its been almost a yeah when there together and so far everything between them was ok. However as the year past everything slowly started to change. There relationship started to fall apart. Argument. Fights. Miss communication towards one another. By the way things were going between them at this time it was as if a bad dream started. Her expression changed and the way she acted everyday started to slowly make her look an if she had cancer. It was at this time when I started to help both sides of the relationship. It started like just a normal discussion with both halves of the circle. However the conclusions were different. He wanted to keep her yet he treated her like shit; while on the other hand she wanted to leave him but in an orderly fashion. Things after this got worst; he became more violent while she became more misunderstood. As I helped out their problem together, I started to develop some feelings for her although I have known her for a while. Those feelings started to become stronger and more seen. I slowly started to give out hints of my feelings towards her. When she had a problem I fixed it. When she was in peril I helped her and when she was sad I comfort her. Then there was one day when she wanted to talk to me alone. She invited me to her house with no one around. We talked about what was going on with her boyfriend and there relationship. She started to cry. I became clueless. She hugged me and I hugged her. I didn’t know what I was doing at the time. Our hearts were racing at the same time. It was almost as if we were in the same atmosphere. I looked at her and I wondered. What would happen if did what I was about to do? I know I was going to regret it. I know I will have to deal with the consequences but it just felt like the right thing to do. I held her head up, started into her tear filled eyes and told her. “Everything is going to be ok, I know that I’m going to regret this.” Then she asked me what are you going to regret. Then I leaned in, closed my eyes and some how our lips touched each other. After a few seconds passed by we moved apart and looked at each other, both in shock we knew what just happened. The next day when she went at school she met with her boyfriend and told him what happened. She didn’t mention my name to him but as soon as her found out he gave me a call. We argued and yelled at each other like animals fighting. I lost my best friend that day and never spoke to him again. Till this day I still regret what I did, but for a good cause was all that mattered and that causes was love.