This I Believe

Elizabeth - beltsville, Maryland
Entered on December 6, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: fear
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I Believe…

I believe in big sweaters, the kind that hide your physical shape and let you blend in. I believe in not letting people know the real me but only what I allow them to see. I believe in not showing emotions because it’s a sign of weakness. Why I believe all this you may ask. Maybe because I grew up in a house hold where I constantly herd bickering and yelling or maybe because I’ve never felt loved I mean really loved by a guy before. It might also be because almost every one and everything I have become attached to has either left me or let me down in some way, shape, or form. It may very be one of those reasons or it may be a combination of all three. Who knows? Well I believe that I’m the combination of all three of those things. This is why I believe in sweaters, I believe in the way that they hide your shape, they don’t allow any one to see your flaws. Like maybe my waist isn’t 24 inches and my stomach isn’t flat. My sweater hides all of that and if not for that then people would see what I try so desperately to hide. When I think what if people saw me for who I really am it scares me, I never let people get to close. If I did then they’d have the chance to hurt me, and I could never allow that. Because if anyone did succeed in hurting me then they may see me cry and that would be me exposing myself far more then I’m comfortable with. I believe in not letting people see my emotion because to me that’s a sign of weakness. It shows that I’ve let some one get to close. And therefore makes it my fault that I’m hurt not there’s. I should have known better then to let them get that close. And what way better to not let people in then not being noticed. This is why I believe in my big sweaters, it lets me blend in to my surroundings and not be approached. If people don’t notice me then they won’t judge me. To not be noticed and not be judged is why I believe in my big sweaters.