This I Believe

Delani - Incline Village, Nevada
Entered on November 26, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death

Everyone has the feeling of sadness running through their veins, yet the feeling of this emotion varies from time to time. An average person doesn’t feel sadness every minute of everyday in their life, but when that moment comes, most of the time the pain is unbearable.

Fortunately, I was blessed with an optimistic outlook towards life, but that situation changed for the worse my senior year. I remember getting a call at 7 in the morning, the sound of pure distraught lurking in my mother’s voice. It was the call that my grandma had passed. Unfortunately, I was very close to my grandma, and even though I had experienced death before, this one took a huge toll on my well-being.

The first time someone experiences something so agonizing like the loss of a loved one, people tend to blame themselves for lack of conversation, visitation, etc. and wonder how things could have been if they had simply picked up the phone to call that one person the night before. Luckily, my grandma was staying with my family for a little over a month, dying two weeks subsequent to her stay. I hadn’t placed any blame on myself, knowing that the little time I had spent with her had been a blessing. Although I hadn’t been ready for her time to go, I knew I couldn’t be selfish about the fact that she was in a better place, and that she was with other loved ones as well.

The loss of my grandma has almost been a year now, and I find myself being able to cope with the pain more and more and time passes. “Time heals everything,” most people will say, and contrary to popular belief, this may not be the case for everyone. Pain and sadness is inevitable. Death is a natural process, and people wanting people back in their lives is normal, but without a doubt, pain will cease eventually. All I can think of is that I haven’t had a loss, but a fortunate gain due to the fact that I could spend the time I did with my grandma during her time here. Some people tend to feel sadness on a regular basis but, the fact is that luckily most people don’t have those feelings everyday and while emotions take their course, we generally get stronger and learn how to forget about the bad.