This I Believe

LaWanda - Monroe, North Carolina
Entered on November 15, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
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LaWanda Blakeney

This I Believe

That My Past Does Not Determine My Future

I believe that my past does not determine my future. I believe that I have a responsibility to my children and I to show that history do not have to repeat.

As a child, I can not remember my mother being there for a long period of time. She was always on the go, going to work. I was always being responsible for my siblings even when we were being watched by an older cousin, aunt, uncle, or even our grandmother. When my siblings did not do something that they were suppose too. I was the individual that was punished time and time again.

Before I was even fourteen years of age, I was raped three times, mother’s boyfriend, step-grandfather, and a close family friend. At the age of seventeen my mother’s sister was granted guardianship of me. At this point and time I was relocated to the state of Maryland. At the age of twenty, I had my first child, a boy. Who to this day he saved my life?

On July 13th, 2000, I have been determining not to let my past determine my future. I have four beautiful children, two daughters (4, 6) and two sons (2, 7). My motivation is my children. My determination is to end up better than my mother. I want to know my children, for my children to know and understand me.

My oldest son is quiet and well-mannered. My oldest daughter is quiet, a fighter, and a protector. My youngest daughter is the baby. My youngest son is an individual that has been here before (I think) and demands everyone’s attention when he enters a room. Every one of my children was meant to be here. Especially considering that they saved my life at some point in my young life. I am twenty-seven years old learning that every mother is not automatically a nurturer of every child they bare.

I am a mother before I am ever a college student, classmate, sister, daughter, granddaughter, cousin and friend.

This I believe that my past does not determine my future.