Keeping People out of your Relationship

Karen - Puyallup, Washington
Entered on November 4, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: family
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I believe in my whole heart that people should leave everyone out of their relationship. If you have a problem or an argument with your spouse you should not call your mother or call your best friend.

If you decide that you have the need to talk to someone when you are having a problem, then you should talk to someone outside the family. Bringing others into your marriage can only cause more harm. It is dangerous to your relationship when others only comment on one person side of the story. It does not allow your spouse to have a voice. When doing this you are putting a different kind of face on your spouse. They will always see this whether you get over your problems or not. They will judge you or your spouse and then you’re going to wonder why.

Communication between the two of you is the key to keeping your relationship alive and personal. With out that, and trust then you have nothing.

I don’t know why but, I believe that my husband and I wouldn’t have lasted this long if we didn’t follow this simple rules. Now I am not saying that our marriage is perfect because it isn’t. We have our problems. But when we get upset and that is pretty often, I don’t call up my Mother or Sisters or Best Friends. If I told them half of the problems that I had with my husband, and believe me you, there is quite a few we’ve had then, they would hate my husband right about now. But the reality of this is, when we make up, its over and then we move on, but your family and friends don’t. They will always remember the things that you’ve said about your spouse.

I believe that you should keep your problems that you are having in your marriage between you and your spouse that way no one can be judged.