This I Believe

Kathleen - candler, North Carolina
Entered on October 28, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50
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This I believe.

I used to believe the world was divided into us and them. Invisible boundaries that like a fence kept me from things. Things I craved such as a family, love and understanding.

I now believe that there are no fences except for what we create. I believe that if you are willing to reach past upbringing, social conventions handed to you by your culture and be willing to take a risk. You can have anything you truly want.

I used to sit in the ashes of my past. One fist in the air screaming at God that I had been sorely abused and I was sick of it. I had no family left and I had lost everything or everyone that mattered to me and I was alone. I was angry, uneducated and unlovable.

Then I found my family. We do not share genetics but we share loss, pain and a understanding of the phrase, “Life sucks.” My new family came in the form of one pharmacist / sister who never gave up on me even when I wanted too. My official little sister who is now putting the title “doctor” in from of her name, she never gave up on me either. They were and are some of the toughest smartest women I know.

I now have a brother who in many ways has been my teacher, best friend and confidant. He is a portrait in steadfastness and perseverance in the face of adversity. He is not the paragon of perfection and we have our moments when I think neither of us is speaking a common language. We fight like actual siblings . Yet, those times do not last long.

More often we have held one another’s hand in the bad times and live for the good times we create. We have this unwritten contract to never give up on one another. We set goals such as weight loss, my trying to write better and finding the perfect recipe for shrimp. Sadly the giant shrimp we had to leave behind in New Orleans when we moved. We had to move when we gained a new part of the family in the form of an almost sister-in-law . She fit in to this mix seamlessly and with complete understanding of our “family”.

I believe all good things happened when I stopped caring if you were born to my “family” . I believe that with this one act of trust and faith. I now have something better then what I had. That I truly believe.