This I Believe

Christopher - Portland, Oregon
Entered on September 20, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: question

I believe in uncertainty. Questions, which deal with life, race across my mind almost every walking moment. Whenever I used to look for answers, I usually ended up with more questions than answers. When I thought I finally found an answer, something new came my way and brought everything back to the beginning. It was a never-ending search find myself. Through uncertainty, I found out it is useless looking for answers because answers can never be found except with time. Even with time, I do not expect to find all the answers I desire.

Society wants us to b exact on questions, are we white or are we black on an issue? I am uncertain about picking either black or white. I think I have an answer; it is neither black or white, it is a mixture of the two, gray. There should be nothing wrong with picking gray. Why do I have to have a decisive answer instead of saying I do not know? Am I supposed to know exactly what I believe? I am only 17 and still have my entire life ahead of me; heck, I am not even an adult yet. Even when I am an adult, I do not expect to be certain about every issue. I will always have those issues where I am in the gray area. I am fine with being uncertain, even if society looks down on it.

Every day I make choices that define me for who I am. Most of the time I choose decisively what to do, but every once in a while I am unsure what to do. When I come up with what to do and do it, I hope that I made the right choice. There always seems to be those decisive and indecisive choices that I have uncertainty about why I did them.

In couple of months I will make one of the most influential choices in my life before I even turn 18. I have to choose a university to attend. There are several colleges that I have considered, and have narrowed it down even further to a couple. However, I have absolutely no clue what university I would attend. Right now I would probably just flip a coin to decide which one to select. On top of just choosing a school, I also have to pick a major that will define the profession I will do for the rest of my life. There are many more baffling questions that I will have to deal with the coming year.

I go day by day hoping that I have made the right decisions and not the wrong ones. Life is a mystery where I have to constantly look for answers. I believe that uncertainty will always cloud my life, and society will have to face that I will always have doubts about my beliefs.