This I Believe

jimmy - springdale, Arkansas
Entered on September 14, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family
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This I believe.

I believe that the weak should be protected. I believe this for many reasons but mostly because of my younger years and what I saw when I was little. When I was about five, I heard my mother yelling. When I ran outside to see what was wrong, I saw my dad choking my mom. I ran as fast as I could up to them, jumped on his back, and started choking him to try to get him off her. Finally he let go, threw me into the wall, and walked back inside. To this day I still remember it, and I honestly think he would have killed her if I hadn’t done something. I haven’t forgiven him for it, but I still have to see him. Deep down inside, I hate my dad for what he did to my mom.

There are women to whom the same thing is happening, and they need to hurry up and leave. Especially if they have children, don’t put them though what I went through. Everything starts out small at first, just an argument. Then he hits you, and then he’s trying to kill you.

Whenever I see a woman or little kid getting picked on, I can’t help but get mad and do something. I’m kind of a hypocrite though, because I would get mad at my brother for the smallest things. I got mad at my mom when she got pregnant again. I got mad at my sister for using my computer. Once I’ve even hit her. Sometimes I get mad at my teachers and yell at them. I hate myself for that because I am what I fight so strongly to stop. I try daily to stop my temper from taking over my better half, but I feel like I’m alone in my struggle because I can’t talk to anyone about it. I try talking to my mom about it, but she starts crying when she talks about it. I don’t even start to talk to my dad about it because he would flip out. I’ve been to court because of my temper. I’ve tried talking to the court-ordered counselor about it, but after a month, he said there was really nothing he could do. And I don’t even trust my friends enough to tell them. I’ve come to a point where I almost say this is what I’m going be, but something in my mind won’t let me say that. So I stop and think before I do anything.

My dad is about to get married again, and I hope he doesn’t do the same thing to her and her kids as he did my mom and me. I would feel bad if she got hurt while I wasn’t there because I would know that I had a chance to tell her about his temper, but I didn’t.

This is one of the many reasons I hate little people getting picked on. It makes me mad to see someone that’s huge picking on someone who is little. Those people need to stop, or pick on someone bigger than them. There are people out there like me, and if we see you picking on someone we’ll take it up with you. I believe this is my purpose, to defend the little people.