This I Believe

Ratna - Westland, Michigan
Entered on August 11, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death, family
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My Other Half

I believe that my sister was happy. I believe that she never meant to hurt her family. I believe that my sister is in a better place.

My twin sister just recently died from respiratory failure. She has been sick over the course of nine months. She was a real fighter; however she lost her battle with death. She was my best friend. We did everything together and her not being a part of my life right now is hard for me to deal with. It was as if I had lost myself and lost the only part of me that I knew she only knew of. She was, after all, my twin.

Although she was born first, I always acted like the big sister. I always knew she looked up to me. She told me. We were different from the beginning…had different temperaments. We also took different paths after high school. I became more studious and serious about college and she became more interested in having fun and going out. In fact, that attitude took her through a downward spiral into drugs.

Everything changed after that. She became different, distant, and more intro dangerous territory. But she came back to us. She came back last year. She didn’t want to be in that dark world anymore and she was sorry for what she put us through. But then her health started failing and she became more desperate. And at each critical time we would think we would lose her, she would end up pulling through. It was as if she was playing tug of war with her life. It was scary for all of us: her being in and out of the hospitals and doctor visits.

We really thought everything was going to be okay. She started to become ambitious and inspired again. My family hasn’t seen her like that in almost a long time. It started out slowly. She enrolled to be a nursing assistant. When she finally accomplished that and she received her certificate she was so proud of herself. She then started making plans for herself, like starting her own business and finally registering for school full time for the fall semester to become a nurse.

But that was all cut short. She died at 22. When she finally came back to us, I believe it was for a reason. I believe my sister and I were given a second chance to actually be together and be sisters; no longer be strangers living in the same house. To this day, I feel glad and happy that I was able to do things with her before she was gone. We went to New York City, we went out to clubs, and we watched movies together and just hung out being our old selves.

We had all thought that we had lost her at one time and was relieved to have her back again. But tragically, we had to lose her again shortly after receiving her. It’s been difficult trying to cope with this, but I believe that we will pull through if we stick together. Most of all, I truly believe that she loved us and that she was happy.