This I Believe

Jessica - Jupiter, Florida
Entered on July 5, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

I believe that you never know what you have until you lose it. Andrew Cornish said that a lizard continues his life into the wilderness like a human into heaven. Our fate is entirely dependent on our life. People come and go into our lives that leave a mark in our hearts forever. My friend Kevin left a pretty memorable mark. He gave me knowledge, comfort, joy, wisdom, and the most important thing, love.

It was the first day of my new job at the Crab House and I am standing outside facing these gigantic wooden doors. My palms are sweating and my heart is racing. I decided to hold in my fears of embarrassing myself or nobody liking me and walk in. All of the sudden I am being bear hugged by a guy that I do not even know. I am absolutely mortified. I don’t know what to think. To top it all off the first words he said to me were “Hi! I’m Kevin. I’m gay!” I knew it was the start of a beautiful friendship.

From that moment on it was like we were best friends. You know, the ones you meet at the playground in Kindergarten? That was us. We knew everything about each other. He was my Peter Pan and I was his Tinker Bell. He told me he would always be there for me.

The best nights spent were the nights of sleepovers. We would talk about everything and sometimes stay up late watching movies while sharing a bottle of wine. It really could not get better. It did in fact get worse.

I was at the Crab House when I heard the news that my dearest friend Kevin had passed away. Before I knew it I was crying hysterically and screaming that it was a lie. I could not believe it. It just did not seem right. The next month was a blur. I barely remember the wake and the funeral. What I do remember is that it was not fair and I was so angry because he was not supposed to die.

I do not go one day without thinking about him. When something wonderful happens to me such as my graduation he is the first person I call. Then I get that message that says this number has been disconnected and everything comes flying back into my mind. In the movie, Tinker Bell had said something to Peter that I will never forget. You know that place between asleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I will always love you Peter Pan. That’s where I will always be.

I believe that angels come into our lives daily. Some are more significant than others. They are there for us when we need them the most. Then in an instant they are gone, but they never leave our side.