This I Believe

vanessa - santa maria, California
Entered on July 3, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

This I believe

I believe in the power of forgiveness. When I was a little girl, my mother left

my brother and I. People have told me that my mom didn’t love us anymore.

So my dad raised us all our lives. And for that I’m thankfull for. Well as

years went by I was now about eight and my brother six, my mom told my

Dad she wanted to spend the weekend with her kids, so my dad let us go

with her but little did know that he wouldn’t see us again. She ended up

kidnapping us for about a year. When she first took us, she told us that my

Dad didn’t want or love us anymore. My brother and I started to believe that

my dad didn’t want us any more because, months were passing by and we

never got a call neirth he came looking for us. So we were very heart

broken. We spent our days crying for him to come for us, but it just never

happen. We moved to San Diego from Tijuana, Mexico. We started school in San

Diego for a week or two, then cops pulled my brother and me from our class rooms

and told us they have been looking for us for a long time and my dad has

been up and down California looking with them. So they took us back with

my dad. We were the happiest kids on earth. When we ask my dad if he loved

us, he said, ‘’with all my heart and I will never let you go with anyone again.’’ As

years past, my dad let us visit our mom . He said,’’ go and visit her if you want’’, we didn’t go right away. The first time I saw her after that I was about 12 years old. I was really mad at her. Ever since that I see her once in a great while. As years pass by I ended really sick one day. I called my mom to take me to the emergency room she said, ‘’yeah, and I’ll be there right now.’’ Little did I know she wasn’t going to show up at all. My boyfriend ended up taking me. I heard later from a close friend of the family that she went out of town to be with friends. I was thinking to myself

why would a mother do that to her own child? I never got that answer to this

very day. Her own sister took me in and took care of me. Not once did my

Moms even come to check up on me. Not once in my life did she give money

to my dad to help out or buy us school cloths. As more years pass by I

graduated one year early from high school, she didn’t even tell me anything.

I had my son, it was her first time being a grandmother. But she

was never there throughout my pregnancy, when I need her the most. On the

day of my son first birthday party she didn’t go because she was sick. Later that

day I found out she was shopping, I ask myself and till this day I still do why

wouldn’t a first time grandmother wouldn’t want to see her grandson turn

one. That made me cry for days. I thought to myself really hard, what did I

do to her that made her this way toward me. I still don’t know that answer.

My son is 23 months and for some crazy reason he does not like my mom. Is

it because he can sense that she will treat him the same way she did to me.

He’ll see her and want to move away from her or even cry. I feel really bad

but what does she want me to do when she is never around. Between

my life and now she just been a big fat liar that I really hate. I try to talk her

but she just too busy talking on the phone or with friends or work. That

makes me feel unwanted. I’ll be 20 years old in about three days my son will

be 2 years old in three weeks I’ll see what happens until then. I do believe

in this; I forgive my mom for leaving us and my dad taking care of us and

because of that my dad made me a better mother than she was and a better

person than her. But is it wroth the while to forgiver her for the pain she’s

caused for my son and me. But I do know one thing, we all deserve a second

chance in life!