This I Believe

Kathryn - charlottesville, Virginia
Entered on June 26, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: question

It is in the mystery of God that Truth is found…and in the process we experience freedom.

Lately I feel as if my mind and beliefs have been poked and probed into a jambalaya of contradictions and complexities. I feel myself becoming shallower with each new intense philosophical question that entertains my mind.

I step back and wonder what is true because recent discoveries about life and others are vastly offensive to the way in which I have constructed the world. My understanding used to fit in a simple package of my own comfortability, constructs, and limited worldview, sealed with a bow, and ready to be dispensed to the outside world.

I see now that everything I have constructed, everything I have been taught, everything I have held onto could, in the end, amount to nothingness. All the time spent, the grappling with issues, the pursuit of Truth, and coming to what I perceive to be greater understandings, could all be for naught.

Previously I might have dismissed this thought and defensively chosen to remain in the confines of what felt safe to my mind and heart. I might have repeated to myself what I thought I believed and held onto it so tightly that my fist would have begun to shake against offenders with my forehead wrinkled, my heart growing cold and my soul dismal.

However that very thought – the humble realization that I cannot be 100% sure – has freed me to open my hand, has quickened my mind to engage what is presented, and has cast my glance outward to absorb…And my heart and mind feel fuller and freer than ever.

Truth has allowed me to doubt and still remains as Truth. This peculiar, freeing, and holy characteristic is more than my feeble mind can comprehend. The mystery and the divine humility of God lures me to seek after truth. As this Mysterious Being woos my heart and mind, I find that I am free to be and to become wholly myself, and to open myself up for what is next to be revealed.