This I Believe

Daniel - Lilesville, North Carolina
Entered on June 24, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
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This I believe.

By Dan Sellers

I believe that happiness, true happiness comes as equally and as balanced as true sadness.

As a young man in my early twenties, it seems that life is made up of a series of happy and sad moments, and of course the moments of the monotonous and mundane. I recently went through a break up from a relationship that lasted two and a half years. For the life of me I can’t remember a time in my life when I was as happy as I was when I was half of this relationship.

It was by no means a perfect relationship, but in my memory the good times always stood out above the bad. The reason I think there is a natural balance in life between a state of happiness and sadness is that for the last two or three months since the relationship ended I have endured what I believe to be the hardest times of my life.

Unfortunately, I’m from a dysfunctional family and am one of these types that never knew a meaning of happiness until someone came along to show it to me. In retrospect this is truly a bad practice, to let someone other than yourself show you what happiness is and can be. Because obviously as easy and effortless as that person brought you happiness, they can take it away leaving a hole.

A big, black, empty hole in the center of your heart, that once is dug can seem impossible to fill. The trick, at least as I perceive it, is to slowly and eventually fill that hole on your own with a life independent of someone else to fill it.

I remember holding her hand, and making her laugh, and making love as if I had never seen another woman. The love and excitement in the moment, and the promise of love and companionship for tomorrow and the next day and the last. If I had my way, I would be engaged right now. For the past two years I had been saving money for an engagement ring. A month before I would ask her, she called me and said those fatal words, “I’m not happy anymore.”

Call it karma, call it harmony, call it whatever you like, but I believe that if you’re hopelessly sad, something had to make you as happy or you’d never know what you were missing. At this point in my life, the thing that makes me hopeful is the thought that as unhappy as I have been during this period, the future will see me as equally happy. A state of being that tells me, this is where you belong. A state where I am truly content.

Happiness is earned through unhappiness. This I believe.