This I Believe

Genna - Palm Desert, California
Entered on June 1, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
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It’s hard to say what I truly believe in, however there seems to be one thing that has struck my fancy. When you go through life being beaten, abused and molested by various people that supposedly love you and when your mother takes her own life, you allow yourself to question your own worth. My belief pertains to what I know and what I’ve seen through the course of life and the power to live through all the hard times. I believe in destiny, that every one person has a certain path in life and no matter what it takes, it will be followed.

Children are faced with difficulties every day, as was I, and they tend to be pretty resilient. Through some hardships that children face in life is how they are formed into who they are meant to be. I cannot say why because understanding the purpose for murderers and rapists etc…I will never know, however there is one. When people face tough times in life they tend to give into self pity and depression, however I along with many other children did not give in. I have been strong willed in fighting for my life and was not about to let it pass me by.

By not giving in to the stress on my mind and body I lived through years of abuse and years of feeling ashamed and worthless, it wasn’t in my blood to give up. Destiny was following its course in shaping me and eventually destiny took a turn for the better. Along with myself, my father was fooled by many women, thought to thinking it was love, however, destiny was finally giving us a chance for a good life. He ended his fourth marriage and moved on with his life, when he met a wonderful woman. She struck his fancy and he struck her’s. Love at first sight. Awkward I cannot say it was not, my father in his forties with two children and her, in her twenties with one very small child. She was young and confused, and my father was lost and searching. He took her by the hand and walked down the aisle for the fifth time. This time I knew, I could see it in his face.

Along with this wife came the aftermath of my childhood traumatic events, I turned sour and hard and could not be touched. I started to feel the effects of years without kindness, and years of burn marks, bruises, and sexual abuse. I made it difficult for my new mother and my father, they never understood, for neither never really knew, or allowed themselves to know. Counseling, special treatment and many long conversations with many boring adults did not help and my parents were loosing hope.

When I lost my best friend, I felt complete hopelessness, but inappropriate events and being taken advantage of by someone much older led to no good. It was meant to be, such as everything else in life. I lost my friend and gained a sense of knowledge most people don’t reach until the age of thirty. Destiny chose for me to loose my friend to move me along in life to where I was supposed to be, and also for her to move on as well into a new life. With everything in my life, I have become the person I am today, I have enlisted into the United States Air Force and my dream for the future is to be on the Special Victims Unit, and search for missing children. I have a genuine care for all things in life and I love to help children facing what I faced. If I had not gone through all that I did, and experienced all that I did, I am right where I am meant to be and I could not be happier. People say sometimes they don’t understand how I can be so forgiving of the world that has not shown me much of a break. The world is not lenient to anyone; everyone experiences what they have to, just as I did. Dealing with hard things makes you appreciate every good thing ten times more, and understanding that it was just meant to be, I always look forward to the future.