This I Believe

Lindsey - Oxford, Connecticut
Entered on May 25, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
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People should learn to love and respect themselve, and quit worrying what everyone thinks about them. “I’m too fat!” and “I’m not pretty enough!” are common thoughts that cross many young adults’ minds when they watch celebrities on tv or are around attractive people who criticize them during the day. Because of this low self esteem, people resort to methods such as plastic surgery or eating disorders. Unfortunately, i followed the road towards eating disorders.

Very recently, i felt the need to go on a diet because i did not like what i saw in the mirror. I started watching what i ate and cut back on sweets. Soon enough, i started challenging myself with how few calories i could consume each day. I went from eating 1,200 calories all the way down to 350 calories a day. I went from eating healthy, with plenty of fruits and vegetables to eating barely anything. I was hardly keeping myself alive.

I never left my house. i was a hermit for about three months. Since eating disorders were common in my family, my mom took me to my doctor. Come to find out, i had lost nearly 40 lbs. in two and a half months. It was not like I was exercising and doing the right things to lose weight. I was physically abusing myself.

When school started in the fall, no one could even recognize me. I felt beuatiful, but others thought I had taken this diet way too far. My own father could barely recognize me when he came back from Europe. Every rib was showing on my stomach. I was tired all the time and would frequently black out and get very dizzy. Three months into the school year, I know it was time to get my mind straight.

I made a promise to my mother and myself that i would gain weight and eat right. And that i did.

Beauty is not just on the outside, but how you feel on the inside. During my “dark period” I blocked out important people in my life who told me i was not doing the right thing simply because i thought i was doing the right. I started getting an attitude with people I love that told me I did not look good anymore. That I had taken it too far. If I was not happy, no one was going to be. When I realized what I was doing to people I cared so much about, I quickly changed the way I saw life. Now, I respect myself andm y body and love the way i am not. I was too concentrated on what certain people thought about me than what i knew was right. Live life, be happy, and loe you for you and no one else. This is the motto I live by today.