This I Believe

Emilee - Eagle River, Alaska
Entered on May 9, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death, love

I believe that I should smile even when I’m sad. Mr. Ed was a very important man in my life. He was not my grandpa and I never called him that. However, I treated him as a grandpa just as he spoiled me as a grand daughter, and because of this, I considered him my grandpa. Mr. Ed was a resident at Mary Conrad Nursing home. After Kindergarten every Tuesday and Thursday my Mom would take my sister Angela and I out to see him. When we got there we would have lunch, visit for a bit, then leave. As the years went on, and Angela and I got older, we slowly stopped going to see him as often. Every Tuesday and Thursday turned into once every four months. I tried to make a habit of calling him every night because I knew he was lonely. Unfortunately, every night faded away.

When I had found out he was not doing well, I immediately wanted to visit. As I stood in front of him lying helplessly and tired on his bed, I tried fighting the tears but they were too strong and I silently cried. I saw his urge to fight sleeping, but he was overcome by the high doses of morphine running through his body. Seeing him use his last bits of strength to stay awake while I was there made me happy to keep visiting yet sad to keep him awake. These same visits continued for two weeks and every time I saw him he’d always say, “don’t cry” and “be happy” or “smile.” Seeing the joy it brought him to see me smile through my tears taught me that I should smile in hard situations. On September 10, 2006, Mr. Ed passed away unknowingly teaching me to smile even when I’m sad.