This I Believe

Allison - Wichita, Kansas
Entered on May 9, 2007
Age Group: Under 18


My sister, Mandi, is two years older than me and my best friend in the entire world. On February 3rd, 2005 she went into labor with her first daughter, Lily. Mandi had only just completed the twenty-first week in her pregnancy, and should have had at least about fifteen more to go. “How could this be happening so early,” was all I could think. The next day around 10:00 a.m. my niece was born. Right before she was born though, she had stopped breathing. The neonatal specialists were in the room to see if there was anything they could do, but there was nothing. I was fifteen years old and my world fell apart. Nothing in my life seemed to be going right at that point, and I had looked so forward to teaching Lily how to walk, talk, everything. Every dream I had was crushed as I saw her little body turn blue. Mandi was allowed 12 hours with Lily, to hold her and let some of our family hold her. Although some people think they would never do that, I would never trade the memory of holding Lily for anything.

I didn’t really talk to anyone because I felt like no one knew how I was feeling, and I didn’t want to talk my sister when she was going through so much more. Finally, about a year and a half later I saw a counselor to help me deal with losing my niece. It helped tremendously.

I could never have imagined the amount of closure I would get though when my sister had her second daughter, Gabriella. Gabi was born on October 21st, 2006. I still miss Lily very much, and I believe that she is still very present in my life and always will be.

I believe everything happens for a reason, because if my sister hadn’t lost Lily, she might have never had Gabi. I now have them both in life. Gabi has helped me to strive to be a better person, and Lily watches out for me from Heaven, what more could an aunt ask for? When people ask I always say I have 2 nieces because I do, I keep Lily very much in my life and always will.

Sweeter than a Carnation,

More beautiful than a Rose,

~The Lily~