This I Believe

Nicole - Vienna, Ohio
Entered on May 3, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
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This I Believe

Happiness is a word that couples don’t use. Walking around campus, I notice couples aren’t happy. They’re either bickering back and fourth at each other, or just the look on there faces as they sit beside one another is not a smile. I used to be apart of that specific couple. I would try to hide. I would do everything and anything just to crack a smile, but it just would not happen. This boy and I were together for 17 months. At first, I was the happiest girl alive. I would see him everyday: go out on weekends, normal boyfriend and girlfriend things. Once serious, I was picking out engagement rings and talking about my dream wedding. It was honestly true love, but after my college life hit me, things began to get rough. I became burdened with all the school work, studying, working thirty hour weeks, and trying to be with Michael. Nothing I did ever seemed good enough. My best friends would come home for a weekend. I would want to go out with them and it just wasn’t happening in his eyes. I wouldn’t be allowed to go to parties or even different colleges to visit friends. It was to the point there jealousy kicked in, and I hated every second of it.

Recently, I was kicked out of my house because of family issues. I called crying, wanting support from the boy who I loved more than anything. When I called, my problems were pushed aside for a video game. He really never consoled me. I thought that love was opening up to someone; trusting their every word and caring for one another. My relationship was to the point where I asked myself, “Is he the right one for me? Does he truly make me happy?”

Is happiness worth all the fighting and crying, and putting up with the fact that I’m not a priory in his life? I believe that happiness should be one of the most important aspects in a relationship. Every relationship has their fights, but everyday just doesn’t seem worth it to me. I was scared knowing that I may leave him and never talk to him again. We have been through so much together. I had two options: break it off and try something new, or suck it up and make it work.

There are days I think back and wonder if I made the right choice. I was ready to get married and start a family with him by the time I was twenty-one. Now, I am with someone else and I think I am better off. I am in a relationship but I feel so much freer: I can go out and not worry about who I’m with because I’m actually trusted. I can actually focus on school and my job. I think that I made the best decision. This relationship is a lot different than the last: I smile, I dream, I laugh, and I’m happy.