This I Believe

michelle - allen park, Michigan
Entered on April 20, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50

Life after Cancer

It was January 1994. I had just left the doctor’s office. My husband and I were having a baby. We thought that this was the best news. It was until… my father called, “I have some bad news your mom is sick she has cancer… you need to get home quick because they are expecting the worst.” I was devastated and not really sure what to say or do. I got my things and left work. I got home and told my husband I have to go home my mom is sick

I made it home after a long quite ride to Ruffsdale, Pennsylvania a little rural community. My mother was a great woman, she loved her kids and she was full of life. I thought she was mom, and when we think of mom we think nothing can happen to them, they are indestructible.

We were always the type of family that went to church, we had a good up bringing. We believed that the lord worked in mysterious ways. When I got to the hospital that would be the start of the questions, why? How did this happen to our family. Why God? Well to our surprise and the doctor’s my mother would live through out the spring and most of the summer. She was growing weak real fast though, we all knew that it was only a matter of time.

It was September 13, 1994 and once again we were summoned by my father to get home and quick. This would be the worst trip ever. We got to the hospital and the doctor said, “This is it I am sorry but she has only 24hours to live.” We were all there except one brother who was coming from California and he was delayed. We were asking God please let her live just until my brother gets here.

Now I was a believer and thought I had the faith but at this moment in my life I didn’t believe, I had lost the faith. When you are put in a situation like this I believe you question every thing mostly God. I asked him please lord if your real let her live another day, I have a couple of things to say to her. I need her to hear these things one last time. To our surprise she would wake up on September 15, 1994 her last birthday. She was awake I was extremely excited! Lord thank you this really restored my faith up until that moment I didn’t believe anymore. Was I vain and shallow as to question my belief? All because God didn’t give me the right answer at the moment I needed it. My mother would end up living until September 19, 1994 and we were so thankful for those last few days with her.

This has helped me because I never stopped believing. I was mad because something so special had to go and I didn’t want to see that. The lord told me it would be alright and I didn’t want to hear that.

In the end it happened the way he planned it. Believing this has helped me through the hardest time of my life, losing my mother, my best friend. I am now able to cope with it much better as the days go on, I will never forget that if you stop believing for one moment you can get lost.