This I Believe

Stephanie - Northbrook, Illinois
Entered on April 12, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: carpe diem

This I Believe….

You might not always realize how much you truly care about someone, love someone, or need them in your life, until you have almost lost them or they are completely gone. I was once told by someone to take everyday seriously because you never know what might happen the day after. It made me realize that so many people take things in life for granted, especially the people they love that are involved in their life. People complain about the expensive cars and huge houses that they don’t have, or a big screen TV, or a nice stereo system, or whatever they want that they can’t have. But in reality, many people think about how lucky they are to have certain things, most importantly, their friends and family, who they love. I just recently had a different view on my life this past winter, when I could have lost a loved one, my mother.

I came home from school to go to Florida for winter break, but when I came home, I found out that something wasn’t right with my mom. She got really dizzy one night and developed double vision. My aunt who is a doctor, said she needed to go to the hospital immediately in case my mom had a mini stroke. My mom went to an eye doctor first and they told her that it could be a damaged nerve that caused the double vision, but he wanted her to see a neurologist. So she went to the neurologist and he said she needed to immediately take a few tests. After about four tests everything came out normal, but the doctor was still worried so she took one more test, which was the most reliable. My mom had an angiogram and after a couple hours, when we got the results back, there was bad news. They found out that she had a brain aneurysm.

At first I wasn’t sure what that was and didn’t freak out right away because my parents said everything would be fine. But then, later that day, she needed emergency surgery. When I heard about this news, it made me freeze. All I thought about was losing my mom because she needed to have brain surgery. That night waiting at the hospital for her to go to surgery, made me feel guilty for all the times I had yelled at her for no reason, or just made her angry because I was being selfish. Even though the doctor said there was only about two percent chance that something would go wrong during surgery, I still worried about that two percent. When it was time for her to go into surgery and we had to leave the room, I told her I loved her and that everything would be fine. But when I walked out I lost it and thought the worst. It was a four hour surgery, and late at night, but of course I stayed there until it was over. Those four hours of my life were the most frightening hours I have ever experienced, because of the thought that I could lose my mom.

I never really realized that you do lose people in your life and it could happen to anyone, any day. I just never thought that it could possibly happen to me and my family. After the surgery, the doctor came out and said that everything went perfect and thank God she didn’t wait an extra day to take care of the aneurysm, because she could have dropped dead from it bursting. Even though my mom was ok and everything went well, after I heard that I couldn’t stop crying because I was so thankful that she was still alive. Hearing that one comment about if she waited an extra day to get surgery, just made me think right then in there that everyday counts and anything can jump into your life and change it all. I knew I loved my mom and I always will, but I never knew how much I loved her and needed her in my life. It came to me, to believe that what you have in your life should be cherished and you should always let the people you love, know that you love them, because you never know when they could just leave this world and not be with you. Don’t take life for granted. Be thankful and satisfied for what and who you already have.