This I Believe

Keegan - El Mirage, Arizona
Entered on April 9, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: Christianity

If God Is For You Who Could Be Against You

I believe that if God is for you who could be against you, but I had my doubts. I thought maybe God was just an idea, a thought of man, constructed within himself to feel that he is more than just flesh and bone. I thought maybe man created God, not the other way around. Maybe man created God in his own image, not God created man in his image. God is not a preacher that screams from the pulpit; those are just words. God is not damnation from the crucifying eyes of a “true believer” who looks up from the contradicting pages of the Bible to condemn you for your sins. God is what you believe him to be and a feeling that you must find within your self.

When I was 17-years-old the world was almost taken from me. A serious accident at football practice crushed the T-6 vertebrae in my back and I was close to being paralyzed. It was a boiling hot night, the dead yellow grass rushed beneath my feet as I ran toward my enemy. I collided with another player while trying to make a tackle with a force that felt like Lucifer had just struck down the gates of heaven. Pain rippled through me as if a spear had just been thrust through my side. I gasped for air, like a fish that had been cast out of the ocean. The blood burned inside me, my ears rang with a low hum, and a white haze filled my eyes. For a moment I felt empty and hollow, the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat. There was nothingness, but I was not alone.

As my body and spirit lay broken, I began to pray. I prayed for strength and courage and I prayed for God to be with me. At that moment, chills ran down my spine and I felt a surge of power that helped me get back on my feet. A feeling of substance flowed through the empty corners of my soul and gave me the strength to believe.

I spent the next 5 months recovering from my injury in a metal back brace that surrounded my entire torso. Each day I prayed to God for strength, and each day it was given. A newfound fire burned inside me. It was a fire that burned beyond science and medicine, a fire whose flames burned the words, if God is for you who could be against you, into my soul. Those same words are now tattooed into the flesh of my back across the spot where my back was once broken.