This I Believe

Randy - Las Vegas, NV 89130, Nevada
Entered on April 9, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: atheism
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

This I believe.

It was the Microwave Oven that killed my God.

Not literally of course, but that was the first time I questioned anything.

And now…. I question everything.

I remember it was huge, taking up a sizeable chunk of our small kitchen counter space.

It was expensive (I presumed), it was mysterious (without a doubt), in a word – Magnificent! And I just had to know how it worked.

I say MY God…but it never really was mine. It was my parents God, the God I was raised to believe in, the God I was introduced to in catechism – the Catholic God.

I began to question all my “beliefs” and the more I read, and investigated, and understood, the shorter my “belief” list became. God was not the first of my beliefs to be crossed off the list (or the most difficult to drop) – but it was inevitable and enlightening.

Yes enlightening! Every time I crossed off a supernatural, unsubstantiated myth or legend and replaced it with reason, fact or at least a healthy dose of common sense – the more life (and my place in it) made sense to me.

Before I read Darwin, Dawkins or Arthur C. Clarke (The Star) I had already given up on some of my most cherished beliefs, including the monsters (Dragons, Loch ness & Bigfoot), the aliens (Martians, Venusians & UFO’s), supernatural feats (magic, ESP & channeling), and all of the conspiracy theories (too numerous to name here).

And then I realized – There is no God!

This I believe – with every atom or coiled strand of DNA in my body!

I said it again (There is no God!) and I waited for the fear, the sadness, the utter sense of loss that surely must come – but I wait still.

On the contrary, my days are filled with a wonder and appreciation of life that I can hardly contain – and often fail to, as my wife (who is a believer) will attest. She has had to endure countless hours of intellectual debate with my family, friends and the occasional stranger unlucky enough to sit next to me on the plane. She has feigned excitement at my “fuzzy little blobs” (as she describes them) as I peer through the telescope, listened attentively as I tried to describe how far just one light-year was, and tried (unsuccessfully) not to laugh, when I asked her, “Have you ever thought about the first hominid to ever eat a strawberry (or apple, or pear, etc)?”, her reply – a casual “No”.

I am not a crusader

I am not a converter (I can’t even convert my wife)

I am just a moral, evolved, human being, who happens to believe – There is no God.

And I’m okay with that.