This I Believe

Richard - Mesquite, Texas
Entered on March 28, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30

When I turn out the lights and lie down at night, I am truly alone. As I retreat into my head and my thoughts fade to black, there is only me. Through this journey of life there are people that will accompany me at times, but this journey will ultimately be completed alone and with my own power. Therefore, I must believe in myself.

Of course, I treasure my friends and family and if I need help I wouldn’t hesitate to ask. If I had a broken leg I would use a crutch to help it heal, but I wouldn’t use a wheelchair because I’m too lazy to walk. I just don’t rely too heavily on anyone or anything. Not everyone can always be there for me. So, I need to make sure I am capable of dealing with life’s problems. I’m constantly looking for ways to better myself, ways to make my mind sharper, my skin tougher, and my soul deeper. I believe I have the power to create a happy, enjoyable life. It is up to me to make this world my own and share it with those I care about.

A few years ago, I was depressed. At first, nothing mattered and I didn’t care. Life became a vast nothingness and I was stuck in it. I stayed this way until I finally awakened and realized I was sick of the way I was living. I reached for help and began talking to a therapist. I began to see what was going on and was prescribed anti-depressants. At first I was hesitant and thought the pills would make weak. The therapist told me they were temporary, training wheels to help me get back into the right mindset. Once, I knew what it was like to be happy again, the pills would be taken away and I could try to maintain my emotions by myself.

That was three years ago and I have not had to take an anti-depressant since. I have fell on hard times though. Whenever I want to climb back into bed and never reemerge, I just look deep within myself and pull out the will to live. I think of life’s promise to bring something new everyday. The promise that it is up to me to make a life out of what I’m given. I also think of the promise I’ve made to myself, to not back down and to use the strength I call my own to fight for what I love.