This I Believe

TyAsia - Staunton, Virginia
Entered on March 26, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love, question

Which Love Works

Best in A Relationship?

The youth of America has plenty of issues that they hold dear and important, the females especially have so many questions and concerns about their lives and their peers that they look almost anywhere for assistance. Questions ranging any where from how to loose weight to their own love lives. The youth of today no longer needs a physical role model or a mentor instead they turn to the media; television, books, magazines and internet. If you look at a typical Cosmogirl magazine cover one will be sure to find topics like, “QUIZ: Could You Be Wrecking Your Love Life?” “50 Ways To Be A Better Girlfriend” and “What He’s Really Thinking After Sex.” Sure, the magazine is written for all ages, but they have a specific target, and that target is the younger audience. An issue like this may seem as though its not that important or even a concern of the young minds of tomorrow — but these young minds are in no shape or form the same as 50 years ago. The reality of the problem is teenagers, females more often, are looking for answers and in most cases they will accept advice from anywhere but home.

The three natures of love: Eros, Philia, and Agape are designed to make an individual ask the right questions regarding, love, friendships and so forth. Many disagree with the concepts defined by the terms claiming that in a sense love cannot be properly described in rational or meaningful propositions.

Eros is best known as a sexual desire; physical love or a passionate yearning. According to Plato Eros “is held to be a common desire that seal’s transcendental beauty- the particular beauty of an individual reminds us of a true beauty that exists in the world of forms or ideas.” The Platonic- Socratic view believes that love generated on Earth will never be truly earned until we die, and because of that we should aspire for more than the images presented in this world.

Philia, is best described as a deep appreciation of others, but more than a friendship. What powers this love is not sexual desire or a passionate yearning but the love of a friendship, which can be used in almost all places, businesses or just separate personal values. However, Philia does not happen soon with gossip, aggressive behavior and personality, those who are not fair and full of fights.

Agape, best refers to a brotherly love. This love seeks “a perfect kind of love that is at once a fondness, a transcending of the particular, and a passion without the necessity of reciprocity.” This love is extended for all in human kind. The love you have for your mom, dad, grandmother it is nothing sexual or physically charged.

The question is which one of these loves is most suitable in a particular relationship? However, there is no one answer. As complicated as it is to define love, is as complicated emotionally, physically and philosophically. Great philosophers dated hundreds of years ago have studied and debated the meaning and correct use of love and still have come to no definite answer. The three natures of love are only the shaky guidelines of how love should work and ultimately is as close as they’ve gotten when it came to defining “love.” And yet with all that, there are still debatable issues and things missing. So many factors also affect love and relationships such as physical attraction/sex, type of friendships, environment of friendship and so on. Philosophers like Aristotle, Plato and Socrates go back and forth in their reasoning of how love should work. Questions are raised like, “Does love exist? And if so is it knowable, comprehensible, and describable?” One may be aware that one is in love but one may never know why or even how to describe it. The only exception is through words and language and even with that language may prove to be a poor indicator.

As hard as it is to understand love and the different sizes and packages love may come in, how can we make it a determining factor of the best relationship strategies? As far as the three types of nature are concerned, it’s a fine start but it isn’t perfect and consequently that means it’s not in any shape or form to be used verbatim and applied to ones life. And I don’t believe that it was designed to do so. Because in the end one may have though to figure the love they have for someone else but what is the match between the love you expect and the love you will receive. I feel that one may be asking the wrong question, the best question to ask is not ethically which love works best in a relationship but can ethics be used upon questions pertaining to love and relationships? This I believe.