This I Believe

Karen - Rexburg, Idaho
Entered on March 8, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
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Growing up in a Christian home, I had always been taught that everything happens for a reason, that God doesn’t give us trials we cannot overcome and that without tribulation there would be no happiness. At the mere ago of twelve, I lost my father to colon cancer. All of these things about trials were out the window. I blamed God for my family’s loss and instead of being sad, I was furious. I could not understand how anything good could come from this. I did not understand how I could ever be happy again and I knew that there was nothing that I could learn from this tragic experience. I spent the next few years of my life in a state of depression hating the world. I stopped praying and if it were not for my mother forcing me to church, I would not have gone. I assumed God hated me and would just tried to make me suffer. I did not understand the good that would come of this. After a couple of long and dreadful years, I knelt at my bed pleading with God to know the reason of my loss. I needed serious help to get through this depression and loneliness. A week or so later my life started changing. I began realizing the importance of my father’s death. It brought my family closer together. I began to appreciate the precious gift of life more than ever. I was able to not only sympathize with others, but also empathize when one had a loss such as mine. I grew to love my mother even more and appreciate her hard work. After I had realized that I had grown tremendously as a person because of this trial, I was a happier person. Although I still cry myself to sleep at the thought of my father and the incredible life that was loss, I know that everything happens for a reason, and a good reason at that.