This I Believe

Christyn - Minneapolis, Minnesota
Entered on February 20, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
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The Power of a Simple Smile

It was the winter of my sophomore year in high school. Towards the end of my freshman year I began to enter a deep depression; however, I believed that I would be able to work pass it with my new medication and fun summer activities. However, I was wrong. Sophomore year came around and I began to get worse. I moped around, I felt like nobody cared, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, no one would ever understand. I even changed medication, just hoping for a little positive change in my life and thoughts. However, as time passed I entered an extreme depression. Then it was the winter. I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. One night I decided that I would be better off and happier if I wasn’t here anymore; so I went to sleep. The next thing I remember is being in the hospital with my mother over me crying, saying that everything will be okay.

I couldn’t believe how much pain I caused the people around me. However, because I am here today I have learned from my actions. I needed to reach out to others so that maybe they would understand me. If I had someone to talk to I realize now that I would not have gotten to the state of mind that I was in. Suicide was and is not the right answer. There were people all around me willing and wanting to help me; however, I ignored them. I am not telling this story for pity or sympathy. I am also not trying to preach to people who also have depression. What I am trying to say is that I now understand the power of reaching out to others.

Receiving a hug or even a simple smile can change the whole mood in someone’s day; at least it can for me. Everyday I give someone a smile and a hug. If someone gives me a hug, it brightens my whole day. I feel like someone is there for me. These simple little acts of affection demonstrate to me that my life is actually worth living. Even if I don’t receive a hug or a smile, I know that if I give a hug or a smile it will help someone else and maybe make the greatest difference in their life.

When I woke up in the hospital I saw my mother’s tears of joy. She hugged me so tight and wouldn’t let go for the longest time. I knew from then on that I would always have someone there for me. I should have known this from the start; however, it is only important that I know now. That was the hug that changed my life forever. No longer will I sit in a corner waiting for something to happen. I will now live understanding the power of simple smile, or a simple hug. It might seem stupid now, but it has changed my life, and maybe it could change yours. I am here for a reason; to live and be happy, and I plan on doing just that.