This I Believe

brittany - norman, Oklahoma
Entered on January 31, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
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Initially when the word “belief” is introduced in conversation it accompanies the ample concept of religion, a term most often associated with one’s ethnic acquirement, and from it derives a discussion so rich with ethics and morals that it produces a continuous undertaking of thought. It is here with in this abstraction of active and constant thought which initiates my covert operation of unveiling what I truly believe about life, humans, and most effectively religion. My tendencies to embark upon countless thought aren’t by any means random, but instead the primary source of my knowledge filled with notable consistency. In turn this conveys quite accurately that thought is the key factor of my belief due to its vaguely visible connection with religion, life, and humans astride the actuality of thoughts in general. Thus, belief is a mere instantaneous projection of pure, individual concentration, and as such reflects an extremity of value judgments that actualize social interaction.

From prior personal experience and family influence I feel inclined to assume my beliefs, or thoughts, generate from many diverse impressions, such as right and wrong, God and Satan, and the list continues, but this theory can only be demonstrated through a concise recollection of a brief yet extended instance of self uncertainty among explicit details of reason.

Around about the time I turned 12, my underdeveloped mother decided to escape the reality of growing up and moving on in order to free herself of all the obligations motherhood entailed. She wanted self control without self restraint. At this very stage in life, I began to conjure thoughts I had never been exposed to before, thoughts about life and faith. I would frequently speculate the presence of loneliness which often led to the existence of nonexistence. Would she come back? Was she dead? Constantly my mind tortured itself searching for resolutions, and always fell short of an absolution. I familiarized myself with faith by going to church with my devout grandmother because she claimed that Christ was our savior, and that prayer would set our souls free. Her spill about religion was so vivid and persuasive that believing in her words was without question tolerable, and soon I was acquainted with an aspect of life that I desperately needed to confront, religion.

I am of Episcopalian faith and appreciate its abruptness in relation to its religious practices. Because I lack the aspiration to sit for hours on end and absorb the less compelling banter of some innately prestigious figure of God, I perceive religion as a private affair that if practiced publicly should consume a minimal amount of one’s time. Religion is a theory that evolved from the original concept of belief that branched from thought strictly because people as a whole shared mixed views on what to believe in and, therefore, created multiple ways to express such belief. I affirm that religion should be routine because it is a type of control system for the soul like eating regularly is a control system for the body. I also believe that the host of such procedures should teach and not preach because humans tend to deflect any unwanted theory that contradicts his/her personal guidelines of life, and in turn show disregard for the entire assembly when told to believe something. Furthermore, an individual should never be afraid to answer any questions pertaining to religion, faith, or belief because none of these components should possess any type restrictions. Any answer is a correct answer when it comes to belief.

How did I arrive at such a conclusion? Every night for four months straight, I would kneel by my bed, slowly place my hands palm to palm, and pray for my mother to return to our family, for her to love me, and for her to want to be a mother. I soon became weary of the situation, and hope began to fade. Praying just wasn’t producing results. But on January 28, 2000, my mother found her way home, prayer had prevailed, and faith was restored. Once she walked up and hugged me, I knew I believe in all that one could truly believe in.

So, I believe churches should teach and teach briefly because home isn’t the church but the family. I believe people shouldn’t feel obligated about religion because every person has much more defined obligations to encounter and conquer. I also believe that prayer nourishes and educates the mind, body, and soul because it allows room for thought. And I believe all of this because belief for me is based on the consistency of thought and the uncertainty of certainty.