This I Believe

Tina - Sierra Vista, Arizona
Entered on January 30, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: birth

This I Believe

When I left the doctor’s office I was shaken. This pregnancy was definitely not planned. What would my boyfriend say? What would my family say? What would my church say? I’m not even married. I called my boyfriend and told him the news, he was devastated. As far as he was concerned, there was only one option: ABORTION. Obediently, I called the abortion clinic and scheduled an appointment. However, in the end, I just couldn’t do it. I made what I feel is the most important decision of my life, I kept my baby. In a moment of desperation I looked in the phone book for a pregnancy crisis center. I called the center and spoke with the director, she asked me to come in and discuss my options. It surprised me that nobody at the center judged me for being unwed, instead I was educated that day on what was inside of me. At seven weeks, my baby was developing a nervous system, which told me one important thing that the abortion clinic failed to disclose: my unborn child can feel pain.

As I drove away from the center my eyes flooded with tears. I cried tears of fear because I knew I would never attend that abortion appointment. My boyfriend was going to be very angry with me. I cried tears of panic because I had no knowledge of how to raise a child. Most of all I cried tears of shame because I had been so selfish to consider refusing this miracle that God had chosen for me.

Eight months later I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The day she was born I found my purpose in life. Some days it seems like I never even lived before she blessed me with her presence. It seems as if I was this dull person walking blindly through life. My daughter motivated me to be the person I was always meant to be. I went back to college at the age of thirty-two, something I have postponed for years. I want the best possible life for my daughter and nothing and nobody will discourage me.

I don’t want to write a piece of fiction, it has not been all roses. I am a single parent, which is a full-time job in itself. There are some days I am just overwhelmed with homework, doctor appointments, and lack of sleep, but as if on cue, my little angel will do something silly to make me smile. My body is not the same, I’ve put on several pounds with the pregnancy, but when my daughter looks at me I am simply gorgeous through her eyes.

Scripture says,” Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is His reward.” (Psalms 127:3) It leaves me puzzled; what could I have done right to deserve such a rich reward?