This I Believe

Forest - Norman, Oklahoma
Entered on January 30, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: creativity
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This I believe essay

Since, I can remember, it has always been seen as a distraction. I will be running perfectly on time, timing is a problem for me, and then completely, consciously, and without worry I sit down. To myself I say: “I should be leaving now, if I did leave now I would get to my appointment fifteen minutes early, which they say is polite. But, it will just take a second and I see something that I didn’t see before that I can fix right now.” I quickly choose the proper tubes of acrylic paint, unscrew the lids, and squeeze out a small amount of each color into a white, circular palate. I then pour a couple of inches of water from my bathroom sink into a glass, wet my brush, and begin to be late.

I’ve always been a little bit late to things, not as late as my father, but still I am often right on time or five minutes late to events and meetings that I plan on being early to. I feel guilty. Sometimes. The truth is that I love painting and that my best work happens in those spare, procrastinating moments. The truth is that if whatever I put off was REALLY that important to me, then I wouldn’t have been late to it.

My interest in art has always been a worry of my parents, who one thousand times over have told me that it is not a wise career move to be an artist. I know this. I’m studying Energy Management and Finance in school right now, and I’m going to have a very competitive salary when I graduate. But, I believe that creating is what makes me happiest. I create art so that I can see it, and it makes me happy. Throughout my career I may be known as an Energy Trader, a Landman, and a Market analyst, but I will always be creating and I will always be an artist. I believe that I will always continue to create because it is not a choice for me, it is who I am.