This I Believe

Emma - Overland Park, Kansas
Entered on January 26, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
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My True Self Expression

The two things that are most important to me are: self-expression and telling people how you truly feel. I always try to be blunt and truthful with people. I am constantly trying to express myself as you are bound to offend someone every once in a while and I think it is better to offend someone being yourself than pretending to be someone that your not.

I have lived a large part of my life trying to be someone that I wasn’t. During this time it was very important to me to fit in. I thought that people expected me to be like everyone else and I wanted to make them happy. I believed that if I was like everyone else they would like me. Due to this belief I spent years adhering to the social norms, I dressed just like everyone else did, listened to all the same music, and acted the same way. People seemed to like me well enough; I was “normal” though right? How do you label normal though? Everyone is different and have different ways of expressing him or herself.

After a while, I realized that it was better for someone to hate or love you for who you truly are. This happened when my cat died. He had been really important to my family and I. I began to appreciate how short life is. I decided not to be fake anymore. I wanted to say how I felt and show people who I actually am. I was tired of being “happy” all the time. I had found out how hard it was to hide your genuine feelings all the time. I felt amazing to let go of the mask that was obscuring me from the world and be open about myself.

I want people to know when I have good, bad, and normal days. When I look back on my life I want to know I have fully lived by laying my feelings down on the line. I always want to be able to show a full range of emotions; happy, sad, mad, and all the other countless emotions there are. I want to look back and know I have been truthful with the people around me. I want to have been honest and blunt about all of my opinions. I want people to know exactly how I felt about them and where they stood with me in life.

I hope that I will always be able to live like this, offending and loving people at the same time. I will never hide myself the way I did before. I have found that it hurts too much to be something that your not.