This I Believe

Steven - East Quogue, New York
Entered on January 23, 2007
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: good & evil
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“I believe in nothing.”

I believe, in nothing. There’s nothing that’s really believable anymore. There’s nothing that I myself can trust, for some reason I’m out of the loop. I’m not even sure there is a “loop”, maybe I think a lot, there’s nothing I can really do about that either. There’s nothing that I can really relate to, to write an essay to say what I believe in. So I believe, in nothing. And while I read what I write, I try to think of something that I might believe in and whenever I think of something, I feel a sense of doubt. When I shouldn’t, I think. While writing this essay, I doubt that this is what our “I believe in essay” should be like, at all. A “I believe in essay” Probably doesn’t make many people think about who they are, but now I’m going through a list of phobias, like Kynophobia “ Fear of rabies “ Or Mycrophobia “fear of small things” But I can’t find a phobia on, “Fear of nothingness”.

I don’t believe in pastrami or what other people believe in. I’d rather not have to believe in things, if you think about it, it makes life less complicated. When you believe in one thing, like, basing your life on meat, who says that the pastrami won’t go bad? What do you have left when your one thing you believe in, is wrong. I’d rather not have to worry about that or deal with it. Which might be why I believe in nothing? I’d rather not have to deal with anything. I know that sounds like I’m just extremely lazy and I just don’t care about things, we’ll maybe my priorities are different from others.

I believed in doing what I thought was right, But then others don’t agree. I believed in looking the way I want to and not let others change me, but now I have a nickname “Hair” which is pretty dumb. A teacher even judged me on how I looked; somehow I got 70’s on tests. But I got a zero for the five week average. So I don’t really believe in the good of others. That is what I believe.