This I Believe

Catina - Grand Prairie, Texas
Entered on January 19, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50

Big Love:

This I believe in

Catina M. Betoncur

I have heard it is said that the single greatest need for every human being is to love and be loved because in its simplicity it is greatest unstoppable force — not bombs, germ warfare, or annihilation—it is love, and I believe in BIG love.

Even as a little girl believing in fairy tale fantasies which usually ended in happily ever after; I believed that there was that kind of love out there and that made me want to search it out and own it for myself. I believed that it was and still is a totally attainable.

Loving is an act of the will. I have made myself love even through pain, and there is where I grew up. BIG love surpasses the love of a parent to his child; the love spouses give one another, or even the love of a child.

For me, I think that each day that someone forgives me for my foolishness and indiscretions as a human being I receive Big love because, instead, I could have received hate, rejection, and condemnation.

I used to think that I could not love or that I didn’t understand it enough; nonetheless, I am capable of love and loving even if I find myself feeling naked—vulnerable or failing to “do it right”.

When my one and only son was born, I worried if I could love him enough. I wondered if I could really pull it off since often times I felt so unloved by my family. I know that they loved me, but I needed them to tell me. So to fix that need, I tell my son all the time and he in turn tells me the same. I know that I am loved by him even when the cusp of teenage –hood is looming and I want more than anything to spew out my agitation at his hormonal behavior. Yet, I stop and I breathe deeply and realize that the truest definition of love is that: “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealousy, it does not brag, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not selfish, it is not easily, angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not enjoyment in evil, but celebrates with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always keeps on. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

To me, BIG love wants the best and gives the best and it is pure it is a solemn act on bated breath. You can’t keep it to yourself, but you give it away unselfishly because it so much bigger than you.

This I believe in – BIG love – an extraordinary gift to have, hold and to pour out on everyone, and I don’t want to keep love because it will only be stifled. Big love gives with great generosity and encourages with great hope. Big love that is what I believe.