This I Believe

Paul - West Palm Beach, Florida
Entered on January 8, 2007
Age Group: 50 - 65
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This I Believe

Some people have to go trough years of alcohol, drugs, and seedy hotel rooms surrounded by degenerates. Only then do they finally hit bottom and have an epiphany. For me it took a reasonless snatching from the jaws of death. There is simply no medical reason why I am alive.

I am a sixty-four year-old Hospice reject. Exactly, you are presently listening to a man who even managed to fail Hospice, so you might not want to take me as an authority on anything, but failure. You may ask then, where does my faith lay?

I believe in God the absurdist. My higher power is a being with a supreme sense of humor and irony. It seems that if he exists, he has, for no apparent reason, made it impossible to reason to that fact. The Danish philosopher, Kierkegaard thought one had to take a blind leap into the absurd to find God. Blind leaps terrify me and seem far too lemming like.

However, as I look around the world I am confronted with a tremendous amount of irony and extremely little justice. I see a place where the rich and powerful joylessly hunger for more of the same, while the far too many poor are expected to serve the acquisitive addictions of these prevailing few. I see a place where wars are fought in the name of a “turn the other cheek” pacifist like Jesus Christ.

It is precisely contradictions like these that make me believe. I am firmly convinced that there will always be chaos. There will always be greed. There will always be power-hunger. And there will always be ferocity in man.

The fact is, in the end these negative, powerful forces that seem to have held the reins of society through out our history, never seem to register a decisive victory. This is in spite of their prevailing presence.

Man’s continuing quest for fairness, meaning and order, gives me belief in a supreme being. It is something in the human spirit that is unconquerable.

But then again you are listening to a man who sees God as a humorist, a jokester, the kind of being you might want to throw back a few drinks with, and have a laugh or two about all the men and institutions that take themselves far too seriously.