This I Believe

Ashley - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Entered on December 21, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, love
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By:Ashley Bledsoe

I believe in love.

Love is what holds our world together, what makes life, life. Love determines our daily activities and our final destination.

When I was living at home with my mother, I used to take care of my sister while I tried to take care of myself. I let the love of my family overshadow everything else. I didn’t have friends, I didn’t go out, didn’t even have the time to pursue another love of mine, art. I had to drop out of school and get a part-time job to help support us. My love of success kept me from abandoning school completely so I enrolled in night school. I held down my part-time, dead-end job in the early morning hours and came home immediately afterward. Night school was two nights a week and it was hard to get free even for that long.

The brightest, though the most tiring, parts of my day were spent with my sister. She is a wonderful little soul who I have more love for than anything in this world, a four-year-old masterpiece, giddy with laughter and innocence, running wild in a world not yet polluted by problems and hurt. I saw my world in her eyes and she saw hers in mine. But, I was getting tired, weighed down by responsibility. I felt like I was a witness to a life that didn’t exist. It was like I grew up without having the chance to grow up. I had to get out and be responsible for myself. I had to know what life was like without a child and practically being a thirty-year-old housewife, without the years on my belt.

I told my mother I needed to leave. I made arrangements to come back and finish school at CHAD in Philly. While this was a happy time for me, it was a sad time too. I love my sister so much it made me cry to leave. She didn’t understand why. She never learned the difference between a mother and a sister because I had always been both. It was time for me to go so I packed up all my stuff. I had to leave one love for another, and even though one was much greater than the other, I had no choice.

Love had made me strong and kept me going. I love my family, my life, and myself. They all govern each other and lead me down the right path. Because, after all, love determines our final destination. Love has brought me here and love will take me back.