This I Believe

Kara - Fayetteville, New York
Entered on December 18, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
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Believe in your self. Many people in this world are too critical of themselves, there are so many problems in the world with self evaluation. Like eating disorders, the striving to be perfect, and working to exhaustion – they try to achieve unachievable goals.

I have always been extremely self critical, nothing I did was ever good enough. I was not perfect. So many times I compared my self to others, disrespected myself, thinking that I was not good enough. But I have learned throughout this year and last, that the more confidence I have and the more I respect myself, so much more would go better for me. No one is perfect, I just had to understand that. I never was one of those girls who deprived themselves of eating, it’s not like that. I couldn’t trust myself. But now through support and complements, but mostly my friends; I have learned that as I trust in my self, believe in my self, then other people will treat you better, you are looked up to, not down upon.

The more self confidence you have, the better you will feel, you will not feel inferior, or ugly, or fat, or dumb, you feel good. There is no other way to say it.

Last year during my first real crew season, I wanted to be a coxswain. I was shy about saying what I wanted to do but eventually I got off the ergs and asked my coach, she was happy that I asked. I wanted to be good and live up to the other “legendary” coxswains. It was so hard, there was so much to learn in very little time. There was what I believed to be a silent competition of weight. People gossiped, and they talked about everyone. I thought people talked about me too. Most people didn’t let it get to them. I pretended it didn’t bother me but I was so insecure, I took it to heart.

I did every thing I could and compared my self to everyone. People would tell me I was good, and it felt great. I didn’t believe it. Eventually my coach saw through me and told me that I had to stop comparing my self to the other coxswains, every one is different. There are different styles. Who cares if one girl on your boat thinks your bad, and that all you can do is improve. That is only one of the times when someone in my life enlightened me on my self criticism. The smallest things helped me feel more secure.

Just last month I got a 78 on a global test. After I received the grade I went right to my teacher and was almost in tears. She told me that there are two types of students that worries about, the ones who don’t care at all, and the ones that care to much. She told me that I really needed to lighten up and stop worrying about that one bad grade. She told me I was doing fine anyways, don’t worry about it and that she wouldn’t think about me as any less of a student. Even through this small talk, my confidence was boosted.

Now, I have full faith in myself and know that I can do anything, people see me better, and now I don’t care what people think. I believe in my self and I love that, it is a great feeling.