This I Believe

Chelsea - Newton, Iowa
Entered on December 6, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love
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I believe that a broken heart hurts worse long after the actual event happens and a broken heart can be caused by many different things.

Last May when my grandfather passed away is when my heart began to break. Watching someone you love, suffer in their last few days of life is very difficult. The following week when my other grandfather was rushed to the hospital for an actual “broken heart” He had a seventeen-inch tear in his aorta and two doctors told us he probably would not live through the surgery. I believe that more pieces of my heart fell right along with his. He did survive the surgery. His recovery was very scary and heart wrenching for my entire family.

In July of last year I called of my wedding the day before it was suppose to happen. At that point I thought that it was completely broken, not because I had called off my wedding but due to the rough path I had taken to get there. Oh, was I wrong, the following month my grandmother passed away and then I knew that was it. After spending almost two weeks in hospice unit watching her take her last breaths. I was at rock bottom, I felt as if I had two unfunctional sections of my heart within my chest.

These events occurred a year ago and I thought that it was the worst pain I had ever felt. I thought that only until this year when everything began to catch up with me. I now realize that I regressed my feelings of anger and pain behind my feelings of loneliness and guilt. Why it’s taken me until now to recognize that I have not a clue, but what I do know is this: When you think you are dealing with things well at a time when you are going through loss whether it is death or losing a relationship, you should step back and think again.

I believe that a broken heart aches when it first gets broken, but it cannot really hurt and cause you pain until it has healed itself and begun to put the pieces back together.