This I Believe

Clifton - Marion, Illinois
Entered on December 4, 2006
Age Group: 30 - 50
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

I believe I am between a rock and a hard place. You see, I have spent the greater portion of my adult life learning to love God, to seek his face, and to praise him with every ounce of my being. And I had a large circle of friends that shared my same passion and views – save one – and that proved to be a huge rock in my life. You might say it was devastating to announce my homosexuality in such a conservative environment – but it was something that I could not hide any longer. Unfortunately, all but a handful of my “friends” decided that I wasn’t fit to talk to – at least that’s how I felt – so I made new friends – gay ones. I had heard that this “community” was known for its open-mindedness and acceptance of every kind of belief system. Well, again, except for a few – this community ended up not only being intolerant of my Christianity, but at times, down right hostile. It seemed that so many gay people were just as labeling and judgemental as the conservatives they were wanting to condemn. And I didn’t just find this anomosity in the US, but also in gay communities around the world. I found myself at times desparately seeking a gay man to hold a civil conversation about God – let alone someone to sing a hymn with. I am not bitter enough to believe there are not understanding Christians and worshipping gays – but they are definitely few and far between. Perhaps they are hiding in their own proverbial closets. Now, has gay religious hostility/intolerance made me straight? uh, no. Am I still a Christian? absolutely and wholeheartedly, it just means that I have to surround myself with friends who have true tolerance of things practical and sacred. So, yes, I’m between a rock and a hard place, but I believe and I know, I will carry on with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.