This I Believe

Susan - Murrayville, Georgia
Entered on November 27, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, love
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“I Love You”

It was like any other early November morning. I was getting dressed for school and trying to figure out what to wear. I always hated getting up so early because I am not a morning person. My mom was pestering me about always running late. We got in a heated argument, as we usually did, over clothes because I would always take so long to pick out what to wear. We left for school in a hurry and I sat in the back seat not saying a word to my mom. We finally got to the school without saying a word to each other. As I opened my door to get out of the car my mother said, “Susan, I love you and have a good day.” I just slammed the door and walked off. I was not going to say “I love you” to her. I was too angry and stubborn. I had no idea that could have been the last time I ever saw my mom.

As I was walking to class I had time to cool down. I felt bad for what had happened earlier with my mom but I knew it was going to be okay because we got in arguments all the time. My day went on like any normal fifth grader’s would. Finally it was time to go home! I was waiting out in the carpool session for my mom to come pick me up. But she never did. I saw my dad drive up, and I thought that was strange because my dad is usually at work. When I got in the truck I asked him what was going on, but he did not answer me. We went on down the line to pick up my sister Sarah; she was in kindergarten at the time. When she got in the truck my dad told us mom had been in a car wrack and she was at the hospital. I do not remember feeling anything at time except for complete numbness. All I could think about was what happened earlier that morning and wishing I would have said “I love you” back to my mom. When we arrived at the hospital, my mom was lying on a bed in the emergency room. All she would say was, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” But she had nothing to be sorry about. She was not the cause of the car wrack or the arguments we had that morning. I hated the hospital. I always had. I hated the smell, the atmosphere, and just everything about it. I still do to this day.

Finally after hours of waiting they put her in a separate room. I still remember the nurses cutting her pants off because she could not move her back. During the accident, my mom’s car had gone airborne and when it came back down it had crushed some of her vertebra in her back. As we were saying our good-byes for the night, I told my mom I loved her. As we were leaving, my sister did not understand why we had to leave my mom in the hospital. My dad just told her that mom was too hurt to come home with us. As we got in the truck, my dad just sat there without even putting the key in the ignition. He started crying. That was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry. It was a slow and silent ride home. When we arrived home I went straight to my room. I was going to put on my pajamas but thought I hear Sarah crying, so I went to see what was wrong. She was in her room sitting on her bed crying with a picture of my mom in her hand. She looked up at me and said, “Is mommy going to die?” I had not even thought about how this was affecting her. She was only five and did not understand everything that had happened. I looked down at her teary hazel eyes and said, “No, mommy not going to die.” But really I did not know the answer to that question either. I did not know how bad my mom was hurt or what was going to happen. All I knew was I still needed her. That night I cried myself to sleep.

The next day the doctors said that my mom was not going to have surgery but she would have to wear a back brace for the next six months. This was great news! After five days of being cooped up in that hospital, my mom was able to come home. We had to put a hospital bed in the living room because she could not sleep in a regular bed. That Christmas, I would have to say, was the best Christmas ever. I had my mom and that was all I wanted. The journey back to recovery was very difficult for my mom and for all of us. She is now well and perfectly healthy. I still have not forgotten that day and probably never will. I was very fortunate that my mom lived and grateful for her each day. The accident made me realize how important family is and to always appreciate the time you have with one another. Yes, we still have our share of arguments and I do not always like her, but I never go a day without telling her I love her.