This I Believe

Patrick - tampa, Florida
Entered on November 12, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
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This I believe, never spill your coffee on yourself in the morning…it ruins the rest of your day. This is a painful experience that most people who go to school, in the work force, or just like a “quick pick me up!” to their day have gone through. It is not the worst of things that could happen but when it happens it is not good!

The most immediate of your problems after spilling coffee on yourself is the pain! It hit’s right in your crotch (not the most pain tolerable part of your body either) and all over your thighs and starts to drip down your leg! If this has happened to you, you know this is not a good feeling! Third degree burns is not what you intentionally bought your coffee for, yet it did get you a jump start to your day…just in a different way. Immediately after this coffee on you, you start to jump and scream like a school girl who saw a rat. This is also dangerous when driving because it causes you to drive like Mel Gibson on a Sunday morning. After that your lip will probably be bleeding from bighting it while driving. So let’s recap: third degree burns, swerving like Courtney Love, and stitches in your lip…just a perky way to start the day!

After you get past the fact that you are in excruciating pain, you’re going to realize that you are now not dressed correctly for work and/or school. This is NOT a good thing! That means that you must now drive all the way back to you’re house and change you’re clothes. And if that doesn’t take enough time you’re now going to have to pick out a new outfit, because usually people don’t plan what they’re wearing for more than one day ahead of time. While you’re at home may now want to rub some kind of ointment on your thighs and crotch because by this point YOU ARE WALKING FUNNY! So after all this time you now have to drive to school/work which you are now obviously terribly late for and driving does not feel good when you must hold ur legs apart form each other.

If the last two paragraphs haven’t inspired you to not drive and drink coffee in the morning maybe getting to school or work late will! When you enter people will probably be looking at you funny on account of you walking like you’re trying to get out a wedgy. After that you will get more funny looks at also some when they ask you why you were late and you say “I spilled coffee all over my crotch on the way to work.” After this you’re probably going to see all the work you’re going to have to make up…although you have already been through a great deal of physical emotional pain this part hurts the most!

So as you can see it’s very easy to ruin you’re day with a tall latte. It causes pain to your body, heart and, brain. So maybe the next time you’re feeling a little sluggish in the morning you’ll think of this and grab a Red Bull from Hess.