This I Believe

Shelley - Carlisle, Massachusetts
Entered on November 8, 2006
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: children

I believe that the best relationships are those where, at any given time, one member of the relationship is a bit more attracted than the other. Most people assume that the man has to be more attracted to the woman. To this, I say no, it doesn’t matter which partner is more attracted. In a really good relationship the attraction needs to shift from partner to partner to make it work over the long term.

This past summer I was on a walk with my University aged daughter when I had the opportunity to share what I considered to be my sage advice on relationships (and what mother is going to pass up that opportunity). She had just started seeing a young man who she seemed quite fond of but was still in that “not sure stage”. He had asked her if he could visit her at her University abroad. She wasn’t sure the relationship could last over the distance. In this case he was a little more attracted to her but I suggested that she accept that, relax and see where it goes. Three months later it is the day he flies over to visit her and she couldn’t be more excited.

I believe at any given time in a relationship there needs to be one partner more committed, more willing to do what it takes to make sure the relationship is on track. I believe we are willing to do this because we are attracted to our partners. The shift of attraction back and forth is what makes me a romantic. I’m not sure why it happens but I’m sure glad it does.