This I Believe

Muriel - Chula Vista, California
Entered on November 6, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30

I believe in the purpose and importance in all events – especially tragic ones. Time and time again, I have to remember that the events that happen in our daily lives shape us. Without the good and the bad we can’t become complete people. We can’t learn all there is for us. Recently the doctor gave me a diagnosis that may hurt my chances to give birth to child. At first all I could do was deny results and think that there was no way the doctor could be right. I wanted a second test. I was angry and felt self pity. I searched for answers to the why me’s driving in the car on the way home. Then I started to accept what this news could mean for my life. I remembered this is not the worst thing that could happen. Infertility is not a life sentence. I am still able to have a happy life. Life may not be happening the way I want it to, but that is ok. I should make peace with it, because I can’t change it.

Through the last few years my husband has heard me say everything happens for a reason. Usually this is when he is totally discouraged and needing support. Saying this and it isn’t always encouraging. Words that declare bad things happening in our lives as a positive presence – aren’t often perceived well. I remain optimistic though, knowing that I will be fruitful in some way from this. My intentions and desires may not be the intent of the grand scheme of things.

My significance in this world is greater than me. I don’t know the greater plan. We can try all we want to know why things in our lives happen, but we can’t ever really know. Of course I get sucked into the mind frame of thinking well why did I do that. If I could do it again. Or I wish I knew. Yes of course if I knew that when I backed my car out of the parking space that someone would hit me; I wouldn’t have done it. But then maybe I wouldn’t have learned to check for other people that may be backing at the same time. My knowledge now should avert worse incidents and was a lesson. There is no telling what the purpose held for the other driver and all those who witnessed my minor traffic accident. Reflection brings some clarity to the reasons of life’s happenings. My belief’s value, in truth, is knowing every action I take has a purpose and all that happens to me is purposeful as well.