This I Believe

Pamela - Streamwood, Illinois
Entered on October 17, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
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I need to take the initiative. I am bound to the traditional ways where boys take the lead in relationships, and I need to break free!

Look at the past; women have come a long way. In the fifties, girls my age were getting prepared for marriage until they threw down their poodle skirts and cardigans, burnt their bras, and fought for equal rights. Nowadays, society is a little less conservative. I can run around with a mini-skirt up to my you-know-what and a tight tank top up to my you-know-where, but heaven forbid, if I “make the move” there is still a stigma attached. I just don’t understand how I can be equal to men in almost every other way, but when it comes to the rules of dating, I can’t ask someone out without getting dirty looks from my fellow females or mean smirks from the other boys.

Taking the initiative is not easy, and there are a lot of roadblocks that can get in the way. For example, I’m Asian. According to the stereotypes, I have very strict parents, schoolwork is number one, and boys are the source of all evil. Don’t get me wrong; I love my mom and dad. It’s just that they grew up in an environment entirely different from general American society, and they expect me to follow in their traditional ways where girls don’t take any sort of initiative with members of the opposite sex. For example, my dad told me once, “Don’t get a boyfriend until you’re finished with school.” And by “school,” he means college. By the time I graduate from college, providing that I do the typical four year degree, I will be twenty-two. Twenty-two! I might as well become a nun. I don’t even want to think about what will happen if I go for my master’s degree. For me, finding the right balance between family expectations and my personal views was another lesson learned on the journey to find my initiative.

It’s known that it is the man’s job to ask the girl. I want to change that. I want to make it acceptable for girls to ask out the guys, and I’m pretty sure the boys won’t mind. I even bet some of them will be grateful. Let’s face it; boys are just as afraid, insecure, and idiotic as we are. Knowing this, I’m not going to leave it up to them to do all the work. If I like someone, I’m going to tell him. And If I want to ask him out on a date, I’m going to try to let go of all the traditional rules of dating, and I’m going to ask him! There’s not enough time in this world to waste it on waiting for someone or to follow society’s rules. It’s time for me take the initiative.