This I Believe

Jamie - Elizabeth City, North Carolina
Entered on October 2, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30

Over the past year, I have experienced several of life’s little tests that have caused me to become someone that I do not like. Very recently, I have gotten in several arguments normally ending in tears and me questioning the type of person that I have become. A few days ago, I finally decided to do something with myself and start back on the path of the person I once was.

I have now come to believe that you get more out of your life by being true to yourself. I was not myself. I was lost in other people’s lives and allowed them to shape who I was, even though it was bad. My parents are forcing me to complete a degree in something that I have no interest in nor motivation to study. But, in order to make my parents happy, I became miserable and developed a horrible attitude about college. I sat in front of the computer in my room totally miserable with piles of homework to do, crying. I had let myself down; I had succumbed to my parents wishes and disregarded mine. My life was miserable.

I was also dating a man at the time all of this was happening with my parents. Needless to say my poor attitude toward life at the time totally wrecked our relationship. I was hoping that he would provide “pick me up” in the afternoons after class, but all he wanted to do was lay around and watch television. I would always complain about how I used to go out and do so many things but I never did anything about it. I adopted all of his bad habits making me far more unhappy with myself than I was before.