This I Believe

Esmeralda - Los Angeles, California
Entered on September 22, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: addiction, family
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I believe that drugs in this world are not useful. I believe that drugs could really change a person’s personality. When I was five years old I had the worlds greatest dad in the world. He would always care about me and love me like no one else would. One day when he came home he did not look like my dad. My mom and I were laying down on the bed and my mom and my dad started to argue. My dad got really violent and we had to sleep in the bathroom that night.

Very soon my dad started to get addicted to drugs and in my eyes he was not my dad any more. I started to think that my dad never cared about my mom and me. Very soon I had no father and he started to just disappear from my life. He never came home to sleep and when he did come home, he would always be on drugs. My mom cared about him after all the things he did to her. My mom looked for my dad for days but she never found him.

My mom then became a single mother and raised my sister and me by herself. To my sister and me my mom was both our mom and dad. Its hard to know how someone could call themselves a dad when they had never done anything for their kids or cared about them. I will never forget the things that my dad did to my mom and me. I can’t believe he went from the world’s greatest dad in the world to someone that does not mean anything to me anymore. I never had the guts to tell my dad my feelings but how could I if he would always be on drugs. My love for him turned into fear. I know he is still my dad but he never knew how to be one. This I believe.